Child Neglect

While much attention of domestic violence is given to the immediate victims of abuse, often a partner or spouse (in some cases the children), the collateral damage experienced by children in these environments can go unnoticed. One of the most devastating consequences for children growing up in domestic violence households is child neglect— a silent yet pervasive form of harm that can have lasting effects on their well-being. For me it was emotional neglect, the lack of affection physically and emotionally, from both parents.

Child neglect and domestic violence

Child neglect occurs when a caregiver fails to meet a child’s basic physical, emotional, or educational needs. In situations of domestic violence, child neglect can often arise because caregivers are consumed by their own trauma, preoccupied with survival, or controlled by an abusive partner who limits their capacity to provide proper care. In our household this was very evident as I got older, no hugs, no I love you, no praise for good work. While my siblings and I were looked after physically and educationally it was always the emotional neglect that was present.

Since becoming an adult, I have realized how much that has affected my day-to-day relationships with friends, family and work colleagues as I always saw that emotional attachment as form of weakness. Thank fully once I had my first child this changed my whole perspective about emotional weakness, I became the mother who hugs my children daily, tells them I love them daily and ensure they go to bed every night knowing how loved and cherished they are and how grateful I am to have them in my life. Breaking those generational cycles so that my children are not repeating the same cycle as generations before them.

Children in homes with domestic violence are already exposed to emotional turmoil, fear, and instability. The added layer of neglect can exacerbate their vulnerability. Moreover, witnessing domestic violence and experiencing neglect can normalize unhealthy behaviours, increasing the likelihood that children may enter abusive relationships themselves as adults or struggle with parenting in the future. In many cases, caregivers in domestic violence households are unable to protect their children from neglect due to fear and control, trauma and mental health struggles, financial dependence and focus on survival.

Child neglect in domestic violence households is not just a private family issue—it’s a societal crisis. Breaking the cycle requires collective awareness, compassionate intervention, and a commitment to creating safe environments for all children. By supporting survivors and their families, we as a community can help ensure that no child is left to suffer in silence. It’s time to shine a light on this silent crisis and work together to provide the care and stability every child deserves. Our children are not responsible for their caregivers’ actions, nor should they be left to face the trauma of these actions whether as growing children or as adults. It is time to protect our children and show them the love and care they deserve.

With love

A Child With a Voice